This excellent technique for discerning emotional honesty, clarity and release has been published by many relationship experts and I highly recommend it to my clients. As a therapist I have found this technique to be a very powerful communication tool that leads to honesty because it:

 

* Assists you to create emotional clarity on every level.

* Assists you to experience honest emotional expression and release

* Assists you to rationally accept feeling as irrational or exaggerated

* Assists you to tell the whole truth to yourself and others in a fair and honest manner, which is where      healing occurs.

 

• You may choose to write a love letter just for yourself for inner clarity.

• You may choose to write a love letter to another person, keeping your letter, you send the other person this outline, asking them to participate in the process by writing one to you.

• You may then choose to exchange letters. This helps each person to tell the whole truth to oneself and others and makes each person feel fully heard.

• You may then choose to read the other persons letter (that they gave you) back to them. They hear you reading their words and feelings and feel fully heard, often for the first time.

 

Speaking each other's true feelings on every level of emotion and hearing them in this way has unlimited healing power for important relationships.

 

~ We all need to tell our own honest emotional truth, anonymously or personally. When sending this anonymously, we recommend you use "we" or "us" rather than "I" or "me."~

 

Love Letter Format

Begin by writing on another sheet of paper, write the sentence beginnings and complete the sentences expressing your anger, resentment, and blame and allow yourself to move through the other emotional levels until you get down to the love.

 

Anger and blame

I hate it when...

It makes me furious when...

I'm fed up with...

I'm tired of coping with...

I resent that...

 

Hurt and sadness

It hurts me when...

I feel sad when...

I feel awful because...

I'm disappointed that...

 

Hurt and insecurity

I'm afraid that...

I feel scared...

I'm worried that...

 

Remorse and responsibility

I'm sorry that...

I'm sorry for...

Please forgive me for...

I didn’t mean to...

 

Intentions and wishes

I want...

I wish...

I hope...

 

Understanding, Gratitude, Love and Forgiveness

I understand that...

Thank you for...

I care about you because...

I'm proud of you for...

 

Everyone can learn to fight fair and let go of old emotional baggage and celebrate this family achievement in some fun way.