This is a very important question, because it requires some soul searching about your intentions. While I am obviously a huge proponent of telling the truth anonymously, I understand that there are times when it is best to express things personally, depending upon my intended outcomes. I encourage you to ask yourself the following questions honestly:
Is my intention to tell the truth and do so in the most effectively way I think it can be received?
Is the focus on the message only and not my defensive, overblown emotional junk?
Is my intention with anonymous communication to evade responsibility or to stand up and communicate more responsibly for the highest possible good?
What are my overall intentions with anonymous communication? Is my intention to build self-esteem, honor someone who inspires me, lift someone’s depression, give a child a more positive focus on important values or inner qualities like gratitude, or is my intention to perhaps give insightful or funny feedback about negative behavior?
How important is it that the message is delivered by me personally?
What are the possible repercussions of delivering my message personally?
Is there someone I want to protect here and why do I think it is important?
Would it be best for all concerned, for me to become personally involved with direct, personal communication within this relationship and situation?
What about dealing with seriously immature jerks or
a lot of old relationship baggage?
When choosing to personally and directly deal with difficult and irrational emotions within these important relationships, I highly recommend, “The Love Letter Technique”, for expressing mutual emotional truth in a fair and honest way. For years I told my clients it was worth the cost of a therapy session and that if they actually used it, it was priceless! I believe this process can serve as a genuine act of power for yourself and others. It has unlimited healing power for even the most dysfunctional relationships.
I have also obviously found telling the truth anonymously to be the answer to my prayers when my inner parent/adult wants to tell the truth because the message is important and clearly not about me. This is often true when my intention is be protective of children, elderly people, disadvantaged or wounded people or animals who cannot muster a courageous voice of their own.
It’s empowering to discover when your intentions are not just about you.
You can learn to develop a more impersonal or universal voice of anonymous truth-telling for the highest good. When you do so, you discover how this new anonymous voice can greatly assist the best possible outcomes. You become a channel for the highest good and become positively hooked.The message can be received better anonymously because then “It’s not just mom’s judgmental, controlling or meddling stuff again about my being a mindless moocher.”
Universal wisdom delivered with a universal inclusive voice can honestly have profound effects.
This is why I recommend writing honesty letters from the standpoint of we (not I). I have seen the profound effects of universal wisdom from an anonymous universal voice many times. When compassion or humor are expressed within that inclusive voice, transformation is virtually guaranteed, as the intentions of messages become more obvious.
For further clarification, I encourage you to view our sample Honesty Letters for telling the hard core truth anonymously with the best intentions, Sassy Awards for humorous truth telling and Honoring Awards for support, encouragement and a genuine sense of honor.
Thank you! Bless you!